How to Be a Lady or a Gentleman in 2020
How to Be a Lady or a Gentleman in 2020
My hope is that we can each embrace the art and power of being a lady and gentleman and reap the benefits of knowing we are at our best because we have been intentional about becoming people of value and the very best versions of ourselves. And, how do we become the best version of ourselves? Through etiquette and protocol. The purpose of this blog is to help you become a person whose company is sought after and preferred!
Let’s face it: I can’t teach you everything about this topic in a short blog, but I can at least cover some of the basics and those are enough to get you started. There are no classes on how to be a lady or a gentleman in school or in the business place and yet, they are expected.
The reality is we love when we see a real lady or a real gentleman and when we see this behavior demonstrated in society, the inevitable result is admiration of character. One of the best modern-day examples is Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. She is clearly very feminine, ladylike, and exhibits excellent etiquette and protocol. Note, however, that this does not prevent her from being taken seriously, being an excellent athlete, or having her own strong, confident voice. Part of what creates her mass appeal with both men and women is that she is simultaneously feminine and strong.
Ladies, here’s the short list for being considered a lady:
Dress appropriately for each occasion. What you wear to the pool, you do not wear to the office. What you wear to the gym, you should keep for the gym. Do not speak badly and gossip about others…ever. Be a person of character. Speak with confidence. Don’t add your two cents when someone else has the floor. Keep makeup and accessories tasteful. Hair, especially in the workplace needs to be tidy and controlled. If you are prone to chipping your nail polish, either don’t wear it all or do as Queen Elizabeth and Princess Kate do… wear Essie light pinks and beiges. (Queen Elizabeth sports Essie’s “Ballet slipper” and has purchased 500 bottles!). If you chew gum, do not let others see it in your mouth. Become other-oriented. Listen. Never use bad language unless you are alone and then feel free to fire away. Lastly, regardless of your dress size, most women look their best with a dress that hits right below the knee. Shoes, purses, belts, and jewelry should always be elegant and understated. Even if you can’t afford the higher-end products, you can find very good knockoffs. Look at Pinterest, find looks that you like, and start hunting! Poshmark is a great app that is used by many high-end clients of mine.
Now, for the gentlemen:
Dress appropriately and always be clean, neat, and well-groomed. There is a difference between formal, semi-formal, business casual, and casual. Hygiene ALWAYS matters. Show up on time. Be respectful. Do not use locker room talk or bad language. Be mature. If you ask a lady on a date, treat her like a lady (this means that you pay if you ask!). If you are in the office, never look at a woman in an inappropriate manner or make a comment that you wouldn’t make in front of your mother! Shoes need to be shined, belts need to be worn, clothes must always be wrinkle-free, and facial hair must be well-trimmed/groomed. Be honorable, loyal, and a man of good character. Hold the door for anyone behind you, not just a woman; that’s good manners.
The media has destroyed the image of what a gentleman looks like. They can’t decide if he should be a moron, lack morals, or be wearing an apron and pushing a vacuum. It must be very disheartening for men watching this type of role model. The modern man on TV has no manners. A true gentleman in today’s society is hard pressed not to feel old fashioned or like an ostentatious freak if they hold the door for a woman or pull out her chair. (There were specific reasons for those behaviors, by the way. Much of these behaviors related years ago to the clothes that women wore and the help they needed maneuvering through doorways). However, some men have decided, bravely, to be seen as gentlemen. David Beckham has recently been listed as one of the top thirty gentlemen of our time. He has transformed himself and opted for well-groomed hair, tailored suits and makes it known that he is all about his family. Tom Hanks is listed as one of the most beloved and generous friends to all in Hollywood along with Leonardo DiCaprio. We don’t need to nitpick about their politics or whether or not they are up for canonization; the point is that in public, they act respectfully, dress appropriately, and are well liked by all.
Stay tuned for future blogs relating to telephone etiquette, communicating via Zoom and Microsoft Teams. I would love to answer any questions you may have for me on my contact page!